House of firsts, house of tears...Long!

So first, house of firsts... the girls and I attended our first mother/daughter camp at Camp Peniel this weekend. This is something that Rex's mom's family has done their entire lives; Cindy and Barney actually met there and worked there when Rex and Leah were younger, and Cindy and all of her sisters, then all of their girls and now their girls have attended every year since birth. I was super aprehensive about going with two small children, and it was hard at times because there wasn't anywhere to lay down the baby or quietly nurse somewhere cool, or nap or anything, but Mia had enough fun to make it worth it. Within the first 30 minutes of being there she rode her first horse and caught a fish! Her young cousins were there to play with, and so she just had a blast. They swam, played games, there was a talent show, a hayride and even a big campfire after dark where everyone sang songs out into the night and had a great time. It is definately designed for girlies a bit older than her, but by next year she will be a lot more brave about things, and she'll just continue having more and more fun year after year. This week has also brought more firsts with little Eleanor... she is eating her first foods, cereal, applesauce, bananas, and is loving it. She has no trouble at all gulping her new delights off of a spoon. At her 4 month check up she weighed in at 17 pounds... off the chart in her weight, and 75% for her height, so the doctor said go ahead and start giving her some real food to satiate that sweet little appetite! So first foods means first non-milk dirty diapers, and well, I'll let that speak for itself. Lets just say this is the first time that I've questioned my decision to do cloth diapering! Whew. This week is also the first time I've noticed Eleanor crying when someone she didn't know picked her up or tried to hold her, and she actually reached for Aunt Leah to get her when another aunt she doesn't know so well was holding her. She gets soo so excited when she sees me coming into the room and gets very sad when I leave which is super sweet. She spends a lot of time in her excersaucer playing and spins around playing with each of the toys and babbling. She is also cutting her two bottom incisers at the same time, which leads us to the second half of our post; House of Tears.
So obviously with cutting her first teeth Eleanor is super fussy, runny nose, up at night coughing from the drainage, all of that normal stuff that is to be expected. The tears though really come from our car rides. It is so bad in the car that I actually offered to pay my sister to come get Mia so I wouldn't have to get back in the car with Eleanor. She screams. not cries, screams from the minute we leave the driveway until the minute we pull into our destination. If that is 10 minutes to the store, she screams for 10 minutes. If it is an hour home from camp, she screams for an hour. Literally. She made herself hoarse on Sunday on the way home because she screamed so loud for so long. There is nothing that helps either. I nurse her right before we get in, change her diaper, give her toys, play music, shake her car seat, rub her head, try to hold a paci in her mouth (which makes her cry harder). If Rex is driving I can sit in the back and lean over her seat and nurse her while we drive, but with me driving there is nothing I can do and it is so bad that we are all traumatized. Mia is so frazzled by it that the last couple of times, she just chimes in and starts crying too, louder even than Eleanor to try to drown her out. She has even gotten so frustrated and upset that she has thrown things and yelled at her sister to shut up, so she ends up in trouble on top of being so upset. I have even started crying a couple of times, so here we are going down the road, all three crying. Ugh it is more horrible than I can even make it sound. On top of that, Mia has made me cry twice in the last week with her horrible horrible behavior. I have never ever seen her behave so badly as she has been. Rex has been having to come home during his lunch breaks to talk with her and put her to bed because by noon I just am at my wits end. It is constant tears, constant whining, tantrum after tantrum after tantrum. I have tried time outs, quiet time outs (no talking for periods of time in the car), spankings, naps, talks about love and respect, talks about chains of authority (of which she is the bottom rung). I've tried everything I can think of and I've ended up in anger multiple times and it is awful. Then I start crying because I feel like it is somehow my fault, and I don't know what I am doing wrong. if she is tired then I am not putting her to bed ontime. If she is needing attention then it is my fault for not being able to give it to her. If she is needing discipline, then what I am doing is not working so that is my fault too. I am just so frustrated and upset, and adding a fussy baby on top of it isn't helping. So I guess I'm asking for some prayers for guidance and wisdom on how to handle this stage of her usually sweet little life, as well as for patience and strentgh.